When you do it…

After three dates for sure, kidding.

Honestly, when it comes to your ex, at what point in time do you unfollow, and do you delete the pics together or not?

I wish I was dissociated enough to move on without the social unfollow, but I have just found it’s so much easier and better to just not know, ignorance is bliss right? Unless you are an individual that is much more mentally sound and self disciplined, I’m not sure how you can avoid the temptation to socially creep on your recent whomever. I feel I usually don’t unfollow instantly. Doing it instantly feels like retaliation to me, and maybe there is some lingering hope in the back of my mind that they will repair or fix it in time (I’ll touch on this later). I have found that usually in the 1-2 month mark I end up unfollowing and removing them from my followers.

I wish I was mature enough to not wish them to pine for me for forever, but as I’m not, I’d prefer to not be following them when they start posting pics of their next relationship. I used to just unfollow them, and let them remain following me if they wished, effectively turning them into fans. Though hilarious, the problem is it would bother me to see their name pop up as a like, or viewing my story.

Couple pics- I don’t delete them. I keep couple pics because I think it is a bit petty to go back and delete, and I honor it as a moment in my life, mistake or not, it happened. I notice men almost always delete them, presumably because they can be a cockblock to their newfound freedom. Everyone does the social pre-stalk and a recent-ish pic with another girl can fuck with their game I’d assume.

“Fixing it” in time, told you I would come back to this. I have some very bizarre internal clock, where I remain interested in someone for a month or two after the breakup. However, the moment that time has passed I can never be interested in that person again. On very rare occasion, I can attempt friendship but even that is usually a strong no-go. Nearly everyone I have ever been with circles back once this crucial timeframe has past. The only one that has never circled back is likely the only one I might entertain it with, of course. Such is life.

2 thoughts on “When you do it…

  1. The fact that “unfollowing” is an issue/factor speaks volumes of your age or maturity. I’m gonna sound like an old man when I say “back in the day” following was called stalking. Now, instead of parking outside the person’s home or breathing over the phone land line, we have people scanning internet postings for what I don’t even think they know, sucking up “dribblings” of everyday info like sucking a thumb to cope with inner turmoil.

    Back in the day, I used to meet people in chat rooms. And, when the person stopped talking with me (for months, then years), I thought about deleting the name from my contact list. Sometimes, I did just to let those that became forgotten go. Other names, those I remembered all too well, I left on the list, hoping, one day, they’d come back into my life…even if things ended on a sour note. I’d save chats, too, to bring them up someday if we ever met, again, to show the person how we met (and to remember details they shared with me). It became quite the filing system/game. And, eventually, I grew tired of trying.

    In general, it takes everyone a certain amount of time to get over an ended relationship (whether that’s friendly, romantic or professional/work). Some say you need a month for every year you were in it.

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